I'm sick

Yes ami and I hate being sick.


It's been 5 days since I've been sick and had limited things to do. You know, no cold sodas, sweets and the likes. But whenever I make a phone call to someone, it makes me feel better every now and then for some reason. Maybe it's just something like "touch therapy" in which they claim it to be working.


and oh, before I forgot..


I'm sick and I think you're my only cure. <3


Laurent

A Poem: I wait

I wait and images of you appear;
shun most and make one clear.
I wait 'til the papers change date
Then do I wonder if is it too late.


Like yesterday, the day sets
All's the same, I wait.

29/08/11 1:52 AM, Laurent Whitaker

Rendez-vous

The number of dates hanging from a date tree is probably just as many as the dates that a person has kept to himself to remember, whether or not they're birthdays or holidays.

August 13 will always remind me of you.

She who caught my interest in talking

Good afternoon, ami. I'm here again to molest your pages with such nonsense things again since I got nothing to do, I'm bored and you can't do anything about it.


First, I'm pretty sleepy 'til now and I can't sleep because it's too hot in my room here at the dorm. With some cigs left, I'll stay 'til late evening 'cause my mates want to have party for nothing. Maybe they just want to unwind from a week of disaster. Yes, disaster.


Next, I've been very interested with someone whom I never met yet. She's an avid reader from my previous journal (yes, she's a SHE again.) and I think she found out this journal to be interesting as well as my first one except this one looks stupid since it seems I'm really talking to someone who never existed. I came to stalk her 'til I found some useful things as well as contact number so I tried to message her and presto, she replied. Well, we're been exchanging thoughts for 2 days now and counting. Good luck on us!

(I don't intend something bad with that "stalk" word mentioned above. I just can't think of an appropriate term for now. I'll edit it sometime.)


I'd like to add some more things here but I can't since it's becoming really hot in here since there's no fan in this room (well, I'm not in my room since I'm only using my mate's broadband connection and he doesn't know it. lol) so probably I'll be back after the jump.

"Elle a retenu mon intérêt qui en parle."

Laurent

Il a été un moment

Hi ami! It's been a while.

I nearly can't remember when was the last time I've been here. It's been a very busy month for me and I don't know particularly what made it busy for me. Thesis defense and paper revisions probably.

Well, I'm back to abuse your pages again ami because there's this someone who's going to subscribe and read everything here. A sign of interest I think.

She'll probably leave a message or comment any moment later if she found out something interesting on what I wrote here.

I'll be off in a minute 'coz I'll be doing something else, be back probably after the jump.

Laurent

Apology

My apologies, ami for ignoring you eventually. It's just I've been busy these days.

Laurent

What I intended to eat

What is currently a very prominent social phenomenon but has had its verbal value degraded into a cliché is now being comically refused by my system and ideals.

Unless I want to live on canned goods, instant noodles and instant whatever-powder, I will have to stop putting things off. I'm getting off this lazy life. I resolve to get a job. I need something to cook every time i opt to stay at the apartment.

Cuire ce que vous avez l'intention d'en manger.


Laurent

Lyrical assult

Hi ami. It's 7:56 PM and I'm cooking my my dinner at the apartment. A while ago, I wrote a song for someone who's my inspiration. A girl that used to lurk through my mind, thoughts and dreams. My dream girl.


I'll be posting the lyrics whenever I feel like doing so.


I already introduced you to her and she found out that some contents here about her are flattering.

You're my dream girl. You're my inspiration.

Laurent

New addiction

A pleasant evening, ami. It's been a day since I've wrote something here and I guess you missed me. Well, I missed you too ami. (since there's no one to talk to during wee hours back there at the apartment)


Oh, I'll be telling you about my new addictions. First, I got addicted to Ska music together with Reggae music. I don't know why. It's like I listened to it one time and poof, I got it playing through my head every time. I like how reggae and ska make their own beats and it makes me want to dance. (yeah, you can laugh,ami)


Second, my newly-learned Photoshop tutorial. The Charcoal Painting photo effect. (well, it's not the preset filter that comes with the PS installer) I'll be posting my recent Charcoal Painting photo effect at the end of this journal entry.


And lastly, I'm addicted to you. (yeah, you!) Don't ask who 'coz I won't tell.


Here goes the photo, ami.

How's this, ami?

Best

I wish I could stop time, just to give credits for the people who have touched my life so well enough to thank.

Distortion

I really missed you ami that's why I wrote a lot. This will be the last for tonight, don't worry.

The band jam a while ago at school was nice. Everything's fine except the broken bass drum pedal. It's nice and fine for our first time playing with each other. I'd like to have a second one as soon as possible.

It was also nice to see our professors watching us perform during the assembly. I feel like our band's the bomb that very moment. After a couple of songs, the ten minutes of fame has expired and it's time to leave the stage. T'was funny though that "some" people clapped their hands 'coz of our performance. It was really flattering.

Thanks to the supporters, sponsors and the "SG guy" that helped us all through out. And to my band mates, This will be the start! 

Chronospherized

It's already 2:08 am and It's my first time to try "weeds."


I feel like floating in the air with love and I found myself staring blankly in the thin air, with reddish eyes. Everything turned out to be funny. Promise!


Just tried it out of curiosity and promise never to try it again. Swear!


come and feel the vibe.


noted: 07/06/11

Away from home

Day 1:


Hi there ami. I have no choice to write this 'coz there's no internet connection here, so you need to wait a couple of days more. First day of being away was sad. I keep on missing everyone back in my place especially my little sister and her Oreo cookies. T'was kinda sad here sleeping alone but I guess I'll be used to it eventually. I'm a bit drunk, thanks to Ivan and the gang for celebrating his birthday. So, I guess day 1's got to end here. Bye for now!


P.S. Me and Charmaine isn't that compatible. I Strongly believe. Sigh.




Day 2:


Good morning ami. Just woke up after a session of mayhem. I'll be up for breakfast in a while. Be back after the jump!


Melvin's so problematic and shared almost everything with me. I did everything to comfort my friend and it turned out well I guess. I'm drunk again and I barely know what's happening now 'til I found out I'm on my bed, helpless. I need to sleep now. Goodnight ami.


Oh, by the way, it's quite nice to talk with people 'bout random thoughts. Thanks Drew, Warren, Riz and Riel. And also, little sister messaged me something that made me miss them back there at our place so freaking bad.


P.S. Jill texted me and I'm quite happy about it. <3




Day 3:


Good morning ami. I slept well last night after a long chat with friends. We went somewhere for breakfast and t'was fine. After getting home, there's no water supply. Crap. How would I take a bath for school? To cut it short, t'was funny and nice to take a bath at other's bathroom.


I'm already at school now and I'm about to attend my class. Bye!




Day 4:


I just woke up ami and I still feel the "vibe" from the last night's session. I'm about to prepare to meet my band mates for our last rehearsal for today. I hope everything's gonna be fine. Wish us luck, ami.


I'll be having coffee after this. It's more likely to be my last coffee here for the week 'coz I'll be home by night and I'm getting excited.


P.S. I dreamed of "you" last night and I wonder why you keep on bugging my thoughts. If that was just a dream, then let it be just a dream.

Je suis relevant de morceaux

Drifting through my own lullaby kept me awake at the last moment of my class this morning. I have not been bothered and relaxed at the same time in my life like this—the pressure of wanting to write something, probably a song and the soft beats carried me to a paradise of mine.

I twirled a Faber-Castell pencil from a canister between my slender fingers, while I listened to the alluringly soft voice of Maddi Jane singing Breakeven, but I can't think of anything to write — instead, this proprietor began typing and ended up with this entry. It's like I've molested your pages with such random doodles again, ami.


Laurent

Stop procrastinating

Instead of doing our thesis paper, studying for Differential Equation and researching PIC-related things, I watched a lot of Starcraft 2 and DotA streams today.

Like a slinky cat, I let my back slide down from my seat’s backrest and fumbled the chair’s wooden parts: it’s been a tiring day. I then remembered that it’s been a couple of days since I have started procrastinating again.

Seriously, I have to grow this attitude out, if that is even possible without my consent.


Aside from these attitude thingy, I'm pretty happy that my friend, Charmaine isn't mad at me anymore yet we haven't talked well since it's sunday and she's busy for tomorrow's school. I'm looking forward to have peace offering for her this week.


P.S. While having lunch at a random chinese cuisine this afternoon, I saw this old lady, probably in her mid 50's eating just across our table. Seeing her Dora the Explorer watch made me smile and made me wonder if her husband has his own Ben 10 watch too.


Laurent

Step back

I am here to take the chance of being able to look back without effort.

Just like the post  On ambitions , my thoughts took me back to a million or so instances of myself, wherein I was not aware of anything but the present agendas. It is so interesting to think that people change but still remain as the same person. People's feelings waver from melancholy to contentment. The swings are very much like the weather that never seems to be predictable and can change at the last second you record information.

Maybe I would not find these thoughts interesting in the future, who knows—

Laurent

Postscript to my little friend

Hey, ami, I know you already found out where did I put you but I'd still like to say this  to you. Yeah, because I'm bored and nerfed out, that is. I'd like to introduce you to the Internet. It's this physically non-existent place in which people can become anyone they wish to be and do neat and crazy stuff. You know how bad my penmanship is better than I do.

Speaking of getting nerfed out, it was since last night when a friend of mine and I had some misunderstandings. She literally misunderstood what I've said and end up ignoring me 'til today. T'was really boring having nobody to talk to, except you, ami. (since you're an online journal) I was really looking forward of befriending and getting closer to her but it seems like it's not going to happen. Sigh.

P.S. I want to admit to myself that I've nothing to offer until I keep on doing more things and keep on committing mistakes. That's why I'll start right now.

“I’m a  writer, i can play music, i can take photographs, I don’t draw that good and I commit mistakes. But I wish I were one of those people with incredible, outstanding talent and personality.

I used to be one of those people and I took it for granted, and now I need to catch up to the person that I could be.”

Laurent

Public transportation etiquette

Etiquette. I know you know this too, ami.


It rained for a couple of hours. Expect the road to be wet and muddy.


After getting hit by droplets of water, i strut to a nearby store for cover while waiting for a jeepney to arrive. After playing with my phone's unlock key and a couple of tracks, a jeepney finally arrived. I hastily bored inside and look for the most comfortable seat. Too bad there's no comfortable spot for me because a woman stared at me trying to tell me with her eyes, "don't dare take your seat there!", so I sat down on a random spot instead.


Oh c'mon, lady. Equal distinction. It's no obligation for someone to induct or give a seat to a woman unless you are sick or disabled, right? 


Dripping water, an old lady splattering her wet umbrella while water spatter all over the jeepney, sweat and unwanted stench that would bring you hallucinating. That's what's inside after I sat down.



I'm really annoyed, ami.


You.. yeah, you! Do you have proper etiquette?

De l'expérience

You grow from experience.

Some things are just not meant to work out, you know that. We can't expect everything that happens to us to work out the way we dream them to work out. What's important is that you get something from your experience. We couldn't always think of what are we going to change from the past.


Past is past right?


What's important is now. What we are now. 


Always bear in mind that there's no problem that God has given that we can't surpass.


Laurent

Bird talk

A couple of birds are tweeting quite loudly from a nearby tree. One of them sings to herself a little morning song while the others seem to tell her with their tight strings of chirps, “Shut up, missy, it's 10:40 in the morning.” 

They continue to talk in bird, but I don’t understand bird.

While listening to the birds chirping this very moment, I just thought that It's hard to determine whether you really have feelings for someone, you are just carried away by good things he or she does. 

In other words, you can never say if you are returning the love, or just returning a favor.

Yeah ami, I know the bird chirping doesn't make sense.

My dinner is getting cold

Hey, ami. I've more time to talk to you again so here I am, yo.

If you had eyes, ears and a nose, you'd probably see the on-going drama at the TV and smell my cold Pork Steak for dinner. You'd probably hear a voice from where my sister is, but really, that voice is probably coming from one of her friends over the phone. If you could feel, then you'd probably feel as cold as all four of us are, all in blankets, jackets and little socks 'coz no one dares to talk.

It's 8:33 PM and it's getting boring as the clock ticks. I've  sent a message to my friend, Charmaine who's on her way home and still hasn't replied yet.  And hey, I said ‘probably’ five times.

Everything feels all right. For the meantime I guess.

Laurent

Weirdest get-to-know ever

Yeap, hi ami, just got back from a little something with a new friend. I'll let you know that it's already 10:15 in the evening and I nearly sneaked into our house. Munching on this leftover biscuit I got from... where'd I get this again?

Still a bit woozy. I was worried I'd have to go back home just like I did from the same place two years back, but I remember that a friend of mine, told me not to worry 'cause it'll never ran out of jeepneys 'til 11pm. What he did say proved to be right as I found myself this really long strip of jeepneys waiting for passengers to ride in this little jeepney traffic... they were just like ants.

A generous group of people, who I didn't really know prior to today 50%-treated me to a snack. I was willing to pay for it myself but... yeah. Took their  offer anyway!

What else...

I kinda have this weird fascination with my newly-met friend, Charmaine. T'was kind of interesting to know her personally. And yeah, I'm looking forward to know more 'bout her. But I got nerfed out 'cause she had a lot of friends with her and I got tongue-tied eventually.

See ya, ami. kind of freaked out here, gotta look for some sweets to eat.



Laurent

Drafts

Today's really a very fine day, ami. Even though you won't mind asking, I'm still going to tell. 

We had our Organization's Team Building activity the whole day and it was fun. Don't mention that it's also tiring. We had a lot of games and stuffs. Not to mention foods and snacks. I'm going to post some pictures after the jump. We all had fun and especially, earned new friends and buddies from the said gathering. (too bad, no cute girls)

I'm tired. I prolly need to rest already and post some other entries and stuffs tomorrow instead. Goodnight, ami.

P.S. This morning, I've composed a text message for "her" but forgot to send it because I'm busy participating in the games and stuffs. It means I'm still thinking about her. Ami, do you know something about this?

Sourire!

Hey ami, I had a date with my dentist this morning and it turned out well i guess.

I had my regular dentin checkup and the dentist found out that there's something to be filled. It hurts when she accidentally hit the nerve of my dentine. It's really excruciating. The filling and cleaning lasted for about and hour and a half. Few talks and reminders then I'm off.

It rained all day and there's nothing new with it.  I felt the chill outside the clinic when the cool breeze hit my face together with some water droplets. Makes me want to have a cup of coffee or anything hot. I went to a nearby fast food to have my lunch but I still can't eat well because of the prickling pain from my dentine. I swear to not to eat too much sweets from now.

By the way  ami, I've got nothing to do a while ago so I look some pictures to vectorize. (sorry, ami for not writing a journal instead) After roaming around my hard disk and the Internet, I found something interesting to vectorize. It's "her" photo. (well, if you can't remember who's "her," kindly check the previous page)

You want to see it,  ami? Ok, here it is:

Oh no! I put her name in the photo!

It's been a while since I had my vectoring practice so please bear with it. Is this still a sign that I'm still thinking about her? So, what could you say about it, ami? 

Mignon petit sourire! — cute smile!                                                                                                                                    -ami

 I hope she'll see this. Fingers crossed again. :)

In my head

It rained the whole day, ami. I bet you haven't figured out 'coz you're just an online journal.


A while ago, we had our first band practice and I think it turned out to be fine. I guess. Aside from the band thingy, there's this thing bugging me off since last night. I just can't take it of my mind and I guess it's too exaggerated for me to think about her eventually. Can somebody tell me whether it's a sign or something?


Though I like to re-link her Facebook account here, (yes, she has Facebook account and don't bother asking 'coz I won't tell) I can't because she might know eventually that I posted something about her here in my blog. While typing this journal entry, I'm also waiting for her to go online tonight. Fingers crossed that she goes online any time now.


And oh ami, if you're wondering how she looks like, imma show her to you:

How's this, ami?

Just don't tell her I posted her photo here, Please!

Differential Equation's a joke

Yeah ami, it's really a joke. 


How does dx over dy equals to y prime? Don't ask me 'coz heck I don't know how that herpderp happened.


I really need to get back on my Differential Calculus course way back sometime ago or else you'll know what'll happen. Sigh

Herp

Derp.

Green at 100

Congratulations, De La Salle for 100 years of existence and excellence.
For producing globally-competitive individuals, thumbs up to you, St. La Salle!

Animo La Salle!

Looks like it's nerfed out

Surprisingly, the moth heads toward a dark path.. leaving the well-lit lamp behind.

Call it irony, ami.

Happy Independence Day, Philippines

Congratulations, Philippines for being independent for the past 113 years.
Maligayang Araw ng Kalayaan!

Herp derp.

Well ami, I'm really getting nerfed out researching for Thesis-related things. I wish you could help instead of being just an online journal.


..nah, I guess you're better that way.


Probably more after the jump. Bye!


Laurent

Unlucky-slash-lucky day.

Hello ami, how's your day?

Lemme tell you what happened to me this day if you would care to listen. Yet I know you can't do anything.

I woke up early this morning feeling dizzy with a pinch of hangover. It's like killing me. My head feels real heavy as well as the rain. Chills. To cut it short, I went home to prepare for Thesis Proposal Defense. After quite some time, a happy face for me and my group mates having our topic approved. It's like I'm still smiling 'til now with that. Honestly.

T'was really unlucky for me to having my umbrella left at home with this kind of weather. One thing in mind: Stranded. But luckily, I saw someone from few blocks across our place getting in his car. Lucky me I got a free hitch home, yet really wet.

I guess it's enough for now, ami. 'til next time!

Laurent

Flush

Hey ami, what's up? I'm here to molest your page again. Too bad you can't do anything about it.


Well, I played a classic Filipino card game a while ago with some friends and I guess it's not my lucky day. Sigh.

On ambitions

Hi again, ami.  Let's see what I can start with.. how 'bout a little background history?

According to what my birth certificate says, I was born on February 7th of the year 1990.  My name isn't that common at all, yet I kinda wish I got a more grandiose or sexy name, but hell, you're just my damn journal right now and not a legendary someone so I guess we're just even tonight.

When I was a young kid, I could retain memories pretty well, so I still know most things that happened back on the day I took my first steps. I still remember how I fell at the stairs one night—it wasn't pretty.

Roughly two years after forming kiddie dreams such as becoming a dinosaur when I turn 23, I wanted to become a priest and an astronaut, maybe both. I thought priests weren't paid for a lot and becoming an astronaut was too unachievable a dream as only really smart kids can wear those suits to space. Then, 'cause my mom was a nurse once, came my discovery of a stethoscope lying in one of those little toolboxes mom used to have. I then wanted to be a nurse. Yup, I knew how to spell 'stethoscope' before I could spell 'ball'.

Then came coloring books. Those were awesome, I spent lots of time coloring pages with turtles and frogs. I liked frogs and turtles a lot. I wanted my house in the future to be painted in this turtle-y green shade with some accents of white. So upon realizing that I enjoyed making my little masterpieces, I asked mom if I colored them pages nicely and if my drawings are pretty OK. All she said was “continue doing that, you're doing a good job” or something like that. That day, I told her that I'm gonna be a painter when I grow up.

I guess I caught your interest already, ami. This kid wanted to be a painter! Hell yeah. I spent summer with lots of coloring books, crayons, watercolor and pastel stuff handed to me by mom. For my first assignment, I had to color a realistic bowl of fruits. I remember spending too much time on coloring those grapes and trying to give them value by painting each piece with purple color. I got scolded for doing so.

I'm guessing this is long enough for an entry here in your pages. 'Til next time!

Laurent

Esprit ouvert

Stop confining and confusing oneself with nonsense thoughts. Be open-minded.

Right, ami?

Untitled

"A heart folded in half resembles a teardrop."

Developing crab mentality.

Recently came up grabbing each other in a "king of the hill" competition and prevent them from escaping.


Now ami,  define inequality. 

Horribly Apologetic.

I still keep on trolling, ami.


Learning from mistakes but haven't applied recently.
Keep on doing same mistakes over and over again.

Writing is like doodling

I draw when I draw. You might be writing when you're writing,
but I'm just drawing when I do. I wish I could think of something to write about.


esprit oisif.

Forgotten along the way

Hey there ami. How are you today? I'm here to molest your pages
with nonsense things again. Listening to someone's cover of Up Dharma Down's song Tadhana.
she's pretty good.

A while ago, I was browsing my drive and found out piles of junk and
files I used years ago. Some are forgotten along the way,
some are lost as I move in higher education every year.

Documents, presentations and the likes. It'll turn out into an  e-book if I would compile them.
Lucky you ami you aren't a document or something 'cause you
might also end up like them too.

Instead of deleting or moving them away, I'd rather keep them for
reference. Just in case.

disparu, mais pas oublié.

Faire taire

Silence is a kind of therapeutic communication. But sometimes, it turns out to be non-therapeutic.
Why?

Because in your silence, someone feels neglected.

Better not to be silent nowadays, right?

Discovering what's ahead

The lights from the nearby Television set and monitor shone warmly in my eyes--that, I could most vividly recall.
I went to this page and typed:

Découvrir ce qui nous attend. J'espère que c'est quelque chose de beau.

Discovering what's ahead. I hope it's something beautiful.
A wish of luck on my online journal-writing.

What's this?

Here's a little thought I've been putting off for quite some
time now. I happened to be able to have some time to myself
'cause I couldn't find anything to do at the moment,
so I started writing on this online journal.

This is a little tribute to the great musician, Johann Pachelbel.
I know he's on to music as I am doing in this little...joint effort.
And yes, I've heard Pachelbel's musical pieces myself.

The online journal's called "Je t'aime," which means "I Love You" in French.
What I'm doing is writing all my queries from what I think of.
The junk I write in this can get really silly.

There are times that I can't think of anything. That's when I give up
and skip writing. I can try my best to write as soon as I get some free
time and silence at this journal I fondly call "ami" which means "friend."

About

Laurent Whitaker.
21, currently on his senior year in College in La Salle,
takes interest in music, feeling and emotion.
I live in the Philippines, and it's already rainy season.

He talks to this online journal
and I know you think that's stupid.